I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Just took my morning after pill in the library
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
