I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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