tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
