is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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