Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
