North Korea, Best Korea!
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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