Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Fuck appropriateness.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
