giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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