I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
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