So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
