Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Randomize
