i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
one might say we're banned from that church
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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