i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
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