i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
