you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
