i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
