Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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