I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
