My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
