i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
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