Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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