his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Randomize
