To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
