Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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