oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
