My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Randomize