Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
