I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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