let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
