a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
