Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Randomize
