Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
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