So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Randomize
