you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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