How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Randomize
