i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
