he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Don't tell me you're on acid again
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
