Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Randomize
