would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Randomize