She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
