God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
