Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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