hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
