you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
