Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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