i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Randomize
