coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
