Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
