is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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