You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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