i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
