We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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