i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
