Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
