let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
