If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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