They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
