Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I think I just sharted jello shots
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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