I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
