im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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